Chronotope’s avatarChronotope’s Twitter Archive—№ 50,720

                                                              1. Economic advice for savings in your 20s!:
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                                                              Don't bother saving, you'll never get to retire anyway. In the current economy you are projected to work until you are 125.
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                                                            Saving is only going to be money they seize for your student loan payments. Spend it all before the cost of your education catches up to you
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                                                          Don't save for your kids' college, there's no way you'll have enough to save them from huge debt they will pass on to their own children.
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                                                        You know better than to save. After all with the interest rate basically at zero, you'll make more profit by turning it into yarnbombs.
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                                                      No need to save, you can always turn into a fashion blogger when you're 55.
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                                                    Instead of saving, sell your selfies to art galleries. That is soooo hot right now.
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                                                  Instead of saving, use that money to buy fedoras. Oh, and fedoras for your manbun. Those will be vintage later.
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                                                Instead of saving, travel to a nordic state and find people willing to let you marry in for citizenship. Social services are tiiight there.
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                                              Instead of saving, just take care of your teeth. They'll want your teeth when your older. The better to grind with.
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                                            Spend that money on Soulcycle. When America runs out of food, you won't have any good meat on you, they'll eat everyone else first.
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                                          You don't need savings in your 20s. Obamacare has got you covered agains.... omg I can't even...
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                                        No need to save. Just invent a word now and spend the next 20 years making it cool. The dictionary will totally pay you.
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                                      Who needs savings when you can have selfie sticks. Sell them on the street when money runs low. Everyone needs a selfie stick.
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                                    No need to save. You'll be able to move to Middle America and become a farmer. But I hope you saved your fedora, you'll need it in the sun.
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                                  You can just write a blog-to-book-to-film in your 30s about all your travels. Writing is currently and will always be immensely profitable.
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                                Why save when you can come home at 31 and live in your parents' basement?
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                              You can always go back to school instead of save money. I'm sure 10 years from now that whole 'costing money' thing will be worked out.
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                            In your 20s? Don't save! Bernie Sanders will eliminate all money forever and you can live home free in a socialist paradise!
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                          Don't save. If you need money just join Jeb Bush's military invasion of whateverstan. The army sure pays well.
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                        Just save all the bottlecaps you find in your travels. Those will be the real currency of the future.
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                      Really, the only savings you need are adventure. Adventure and Bear Grylls level survival skills for the city you'll afford to live in.
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                    Remember, you don't need to save, you can always move to the suburbs of Detroit. They have great emergency services out there.
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                  Don't save. All money will just inflate unavoidably anyway. Buy up all the bread and bottled water. People are always buying that stuff.
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                Don't save in your 20s. I mean... look the number 20 is right there. Clearly that means you should spend all 20s.
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              Why save in your 20s? When else are you going to make it rain in the club?
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            When you come home at 30 with no savings, you can always become an Uber driver, then an Uber Robot Helper, then an Uber Robot Oil Changer.
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          You could save in your 20s, or you could put that money towards the Trump campaign. He seems to know how money works.
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        Just spend your money on improving your record collection. It'll win the format wars eventually.
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      In your 20s, you can spend money on delicious GrubHub. Then, a decade later, you'll just have grubs, no hub. What a deal!
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    You don't need to save in your 20s. Silicon Valley will have removed all expensive vowels by then.
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      When you have no savings at 30, invent an app. That always works. Oh, you don't know how to program. You can just be the ideas guy then.
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        Don't save in your 20s. The SJWs might win and take away your money to pay off injustice or something.
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          Remember, in your 20s you can spend money on chopper rides. Then you'll be able to sell the story about how you yelled 'get in da choppa'.
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            Don't save in your 20s, have adventures where you stick weird things into weird parts of your body and sell the story to XOJane.
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              Remember, if your 20s are filled with enough adventures someone (Elite Daily?) will surely pay for you later, after all, experience!
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