Chronotope’s avatarChronotope’s Twitter Archive—№ 85,134

                                                                                                                                                                            1. So watching Marvel's Inhumans and it is the most cartoony live action thing I've ever watched. Not just visually but in theme, writing, every way.
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                                                                                                                                                                            Also like... Maximus is sort of the good guy here? I mean he's fighting to free people from a dictatorial caste system under which people who are considered "genetically inferior" seem to be used as near slave labor?
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                                                                                                                                                                          Also lol it is leaning real hard into the whole 'all Hawaiians are super friendly'. Just a bunch of surfers hanging out with machine guns and climbing equipment totally ready to blow the hell out of strangers after getting drunk with a dude with hooves.
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                                                                                                                                                                        Definitely refreshing to see a modern super hero show that is somewhere outside of the big east or west coast cities tho.
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                                                                                                                                                                      Random night time ATVing, you know, as you do.
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                                                                                                                                                                    haha, 'we're royalty, the local law enforcement mean nothing to us, laws are dumb, we just should get whatever we want.' Just saying the King and Queen of the Inhumans both stole a bunch of stuff and fled from the cops completely unnecessarily.
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                                                                                                                                                                  Yo this dude she assaulted is totally justified in being upset at her.
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                                                                                                                                                                Man all of these royal Inhumans are real bad at keeping the secrets from humans that they have supposedly seriously campaigned long and hard to keep.
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                                                                                                                                                              Look all DNA is circles and squares dude. Circles and circles if you're an Inhuman.
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                                                                                                                                                            Our buddy died for you but it's like totally chill man. Surfer code.
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                                                                                                                                                          Look people she's a patented Hollywood Frumpy Blonde ok. She's got glasses. She's got a computer. She has a brain and she eats junk food! And LOOK She's Never Been Married ok?! SHE'S FRUMPY GD IT DON'T YOU GET IT?!?
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                                                                                                                                                        lol what exactly is the power of this Genetic Council? What's the point of them exactly?
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                                                                                                                                                      lol someone has scary movie ghost spooky big mouth power.
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                                                                                                                                                    She's going to do it, she's going to do it!
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                                                                                                                                                  So like, at least a dozen humans now know there's a bunch of super people on the moon now. Nice job keeping the secret royals.
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                                                                                                                                                lol side plot love story woooo
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                                                                                                                                              You get it, she doesn't get human feelings ok.
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                                                                                                                                            A reflective dome yo.
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                                                                                                                                          She's a NERD you get it!? She went to SPACE CAMP! She wears GLASSES! NERRRRD.
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                                                                                                                                        I get the feeling that there was a previous version of this script where Lady Nerd was supposed to be the POV character to ease the viewer in but they started filming and some studio exec was like 'no one wants to hear from a lady with glasses'
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                                                                                                                                      'I'm the super human consigliere, but I'm all scared without my powers so I'm going to have a C plot involving weed mobsters and falling in love with a random lady so we can A: get at least one beach scene in an episode B: have a gratuitous T&A scene
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                                                                                                                                    lol, how do laptops work
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                                                                                                                                  Pretty sure NASA sent up scientists too.
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                                                                                                                                Ideals are stupid yo.
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                                                                                                                              I like how some director thought here: you know what our TV show really needs, child actors in slowmo.
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                                                                                                                            Arbitrary female bonding moment! I don't think it managed to pass the Bechdel test tho.
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                                                                                                                          Wait, they are just now asking him his origin story?!
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                                                                                                                        Arbitrary male bonding moment. All that it takes to be family is chillin on the beach, shooting some folks and beeeeeeeers
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                                                                                                                      Love trianggggggggle goooooooooo
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                                                                                                                    Yo, this random dude is a poison expert. We've got a poison expert here folks!
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                                                                                                                  dark evil music as Maximus gets rid of the ruling council that oppresses an entire city into genetically dictated castes
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                                                                                                                Oh look, an exploding canister?
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                                                                                                              BOOM!
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                                                                                                            Chekhov's gas tank.
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                                                                                                          All it would take is flipping the musical score and Maximus would be the dark anti hero and the royals would be the bad guys.
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                                                                                                        Cool that our space moon future doesn't have bras I guess.
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                                                                                                      lol is he digging the grave for... YUP
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                                                                                                    For a brief moment the burden of his power is lifted to make it all so tragic when he must once again take up the mantle of.... Super dude.
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                                                                                                  Poor lonely nerd has to deal with the couple making out in the back of her stolen car.
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                                                                                                Yo Black Bolt's EYES man. He's the best cast in this and like 5 other random ABC shows.
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                                                                                              So-Called BAD PERSON: 'The royal family treats me like shit' *Royal family treats her like shit*
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                                                                                            I'm not even a dog person, but this enormous animated dog is adorable.
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                                                                                          Set up a DNA test on both of them? But I thought Dead People DNA didn't work right for whatever it was you're doing to them?
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                                                                                        "Wanna play catch" With a big pole?
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                                                                                      What an asshole Super Dude is. Why are they friends?
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                                                                                    What... the whole royal guard is like.... 5 people?
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                                                                                  Pretty sure cutting it out of her back will also ensure infection.
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                                                                                Ok, I believe you tear holes in your tents all the time, but so often you keep a sewing kit in your back pocket?
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                                                                              Strangle HIM?!
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                                                                            lol called it
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                                                                          haha, eye stab
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                                                                        Has there ever been an action movie or TV show where a character waking up from a severe injury /doesn't/ immediately strangle the nearest person upon achieving consciousness?
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                                                                      Doubt is your friend otherwise you'd be a crazy fanatic. CRAZY FANATIC: I don't know about this.
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                                                                    I also am really enjoying Death Face. What the hell direction was given this guy? Look dude you've been imprisoned your whole life, you're angry, you can't interact with people except through this weird gimp suit. Now take all that and just be Whedon-ish wry.
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                                                                  Pretty sure in a Whedon TV Show Death Face would be a love interest or something. Not like that would be a good thing.
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                                                                The character described in-show as "some Asian guy with tattoos" just picked up a staff and what do you know he can do martial arts.
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                                                              Oh requisite beach scene cool cool. How much did the Hawaii Travel Board pay for this?
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                                                            This guy just said "This is my office" and "hang loose" in the same page worth of dialogue.
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                                                          Man, how many royals are going to take a break to run into the ocean in the middle of this coup?
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                                                        Oh man, someone kicked his one stick and now it is two sticks and he's still super good at it.
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                                                      Getting hit in the head, My Greatest Weakness! How did you know?!?
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                                                    lol this human is like 'your society sounds pretty freaking awful, I wouldn't want to be in it' Queen: Well, our laws aren't perfect. But we always try to force everyone into their caste structures using just genetics and not opinions or ideas. Totally cool.
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                                                  'Turns out delivering on your promises is not so easy.' "You have to earn your freedom" 'Maybe people might think you are in this for yourself?' 'How dare you, I don't like opinions'
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                                                Oh man, is it talking to statues time because we can't write a way to show this characters intentions effectively so we have to have him tell them?
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                                              Honestly, even as his asshole-level increases Maximus still seems like he's the good guy.
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                                            lol what did you really think was going to happen now that you've told the 20th person about your secret moon city?
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                                          Death Face wants you to know that he also finds ladies sexy because he can't eat an apple to make him look like more of an asshole. Seriously how is James Marsters not under all that leather. This dude is channeling him.
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                                        Finally someone made an illegal aliens joke. I've been waiting hours.
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                                      In this episode the director discovered you can film with dutch angles.
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                                    Oh my god, judging by this Previously On, Princess's crush's love story G plot is BACK.
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                                  Dutch ANGLE Straight shot DUTCH ANGLE Straight shot DUTCH ANGLE Fish eye zoom out!
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                                haha superhero registry joke and the jealous girlfriend is now a racist
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                              Gotta catch up here, Plots: A - Coup B - Flashback of last coup. C - Weed and Love Story D - Medusa finds her way to Frumpy Nerd E - Hoofs meets the surfers F - Black Bolt vs the Justice System G - Princess in Prison -> Love Triangle H - Earth Stufffff I - Mr. Sees The Future.
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                            Inspiring speech time
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                          Man he sure isn't going to eat those words. Nope never.
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                        Queen: What if we tried out a court system. King: Feels like I should just be executing people.
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                      Man sure weird how the people who threw in with anti-caste-system Maximus are still classist af
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                    I take it back, Death Face clearly knows what type of schlock he's in.
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                  haha "Literally the face of death"
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                gotta roll that camera a bit here.
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              'haha the joke is that I kill children but the narrative tells you I'm the good guy'
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            Alright this is a pretty damn good fight scene.
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          No dude. You do not have enough information to know that.
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        lol god of thunder joke.
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      I keep hoping that the Agents of SHIELD crew will rappel in and break up this terrible teen love tangent.
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    *vague racism against humans*
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      Chekhov's jealous ex
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        oh my god we gave back from the dead lady her own subplot
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          2/3rds of the plot points are still open, why have another one?!
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            wait where did everyone come from? why did they suddenly turn on the doc?
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              Man he had a whole monologue about how he isn't just doing it for himself. It makes these royal assholes look even more dumb and spoiled to say otherwise.
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                Random executions. Perhaps we shouldn't do them? Nah, lets do all the executions.
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                  Intro music is pretty sweet youtu.be/BJ_ulqcV1f8
                  OpenGraph image for youtu.be/BJ_ulqcV1f8
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                    uhhh what
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                      what if we had this asshole be more of an asshole except now to his family.
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                        They are making it real hard to like this dude.
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                          wait whaaaat... why is this person's motivation suddenly changing.
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                              wow the royals are real terrible at reading people
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                                haha that camera move was awesome but totally ridiculous.
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                                  technobabbbbbbble
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                                    Body horror me up, come on, now is the time.
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                                      No huh. Too bad.
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                                        What is this music? Am I supposed to feel bad that this is happening? I mean I do. The guy is totally in the right for about 75% of his stuff. He def doesn't deserve this treatment. But the rest of this episode has been indicating that I shouldn't feel bad about this.
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                                          uhhh what?
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                                            oh come on!
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                                              These episode titles are such a tease.
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                                                Man for someone who wants to win back his people Black Bolt sure is killing a lot of them.
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                                                  Oh my a mysterious badly defined galactic threat in a Marvel property?!
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                                                    Marvel's Inhumans uses more tricks to hide Gorgen's feet than Rob Liefeld does with... all of his characters.
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                                                      Maximus has a point, it is awful easy to turn the Inhumans against Black Bolt. Perhaps BB should be less of an asshole.
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                                                        Oh man really... I get it, we're going to use the threat of the Kree to justify being terrible people? No man, that doesn't count. It didn't count for Agents of SHIELD (which they learned by the last season, thankfully). And it doesn't count here.
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                                                          Being terrible isn't justified by doing so in preparation for some worse terrible thing. We've been over this already SF writers. io9.gizmodo.com/star-wars-is-poised-to-re-make-one-of-the-expanded-univ-1792902460 COME ON PEOPLE.
                                                          OpenGraph image for io9.gizmodo.com/star-wars-is-poised-to-re-make-one-of-the-expanded-univ-1792902460
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                                                            The very theoretical attack of space aliens does not justify a society of genetic castes which is super awful. Especially when the text doesn't even talk about it in the first season.
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                                                              ugh. Is there some trope name for this? I guess it's all under 'the ends justify the means' eh? Dumb.
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                                                                Stupid Kree invasion is mostly a dumb plotline in the Marvel universe anyway. Skrulls Attack is even worse.


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