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You don't need to be clever with your weird tech company name. Just take a word and remove the vowels like your grandchildren did.
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Really new Yahoo should have just been a nicely cryptic Yh.
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Really, it would be to Yahoo's advantage to make its name impossible for humans to say Less talking about Yahoo would increase its value.
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You don't need to be clever with your old tech company's new name. You could just take a different exclamation. Ohno!
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It would scale out the same way too. Yodelers could inexplicably go Ohnooooooooooooooooooooooo! in your TV ads.
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That way when people read any future Yahoo news and go "oh no" you can just be like 'what? they were just saying the name.'
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Or could shorten it a bit for young teens demographic to get excited about. Drop the Ya and just be Hoo. As in 'Hoo the f**k is that?'
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Or pivot, ask P*rnhub to buy you out and drop an extra letter. Just be Oo.
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Look, you know, honesty never hurt anyone. Just rename the company to 'Dear God, Verizon Buy Us Before Any More News Else Comes Out, Inc.'
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Stock listing: DGVBUBAMNECO
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I feel, in retrospect, I missed a valuable DGAF opportunity here.
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New Yahoo should be: Dear God, All is Falling Apart, Verizon Buy Us Please!, Inc. DGAFAVBUP
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Yeah, that was too long to go for that joke. Kind of like Yahoo's existence.
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I would have just called it 'Yahoo, we fired Marissa Mayer and will hire a white dude, love us now?'
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Or maybe "Yahoops There Goes Your Email Account Security and Password!, Inc."
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Anyway, Goodbye Yahoo - You really tried to make purple and an exclamation mark work and I can respect that in a brand.
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