Chronotope’s avatarChronotope’s Twitter Archive—№ 58,563

                    1. We should make some tiny sensors, Mount them on watch batteries. Stick them on our fingers. We could call it The Internet of Rings.
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                  1. …in reply to @Chronotope
                    Sauron was just a Kickstarted project engineer whose prototypes went really wrong. Gollum was an early adopter.
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                1. …in reply to @Chronotope
                  The ring wraiths could always find Frodo because he left the Find My Ring app on.
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              1. …in reply to @Chronotope
                The trip to Mount Doom was so Frodo could win his FitRing challenge. Gollum just wanted to unsync the ring's bluetooth.
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            1. …in reply to @Chronotope
              Gollum kept getting in range of the ring and it triggered his digital assistant, that's who he was talking to.
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          1. …in reply to @Chronotope
            Gollum lost the ring, but it was the only way to unlock his phone. Frodo's invisibility was a metaphor for identify theft.
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        1. …in reply to @Chronotope
          That's why Gollum was wandering around saying his own name over and over, he was trying to voice activate the ring.
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      1. …in reply to @Chronotope
        Orcs are what happens when you use too many caffeine bands at once.
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    1. …in reply to @Chronotope
      They wanted to get to the Two Towers because where else are you going to get 3G?
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  1. …in reply to @Chronotope
    With the One Ring destroyed, the internet was no longer being spammed by positioning data, allowing the elves to finally book their vacation
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    1. …in reply to @Chronotope
      Gandalf had to battle the Balrog, it was on his WiFi. After he kicked it off, he rebooted the router, making signal to from gray to white.
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