Chronotope’s avatarChronotope’s Twitter Archive—№ 58,556

        1. We should make some tiny sensors, Mount them on watch batteries. Stick them on our fingers. We could call it The Internet of Rings.
      1. …in reply to @Chronotope
        Sauron was just a Kickstarted project engineer whose prototypes went really wrong. Gollum was an early adopter.
    1. …in reply to @Chronotope
      The ring wraiths could always find Frodo because he left the Find My Ring app on.
  1. …in reply to @Chronotope
    The trip to Mount Doom was so Frodo could win his FitRing challenge. Gollum just wanted to unsync the ring's bluetooth.
    1. …in reply to @Chronotope
      Gollum kept getting in range of the ring and it triggered his digital assistant, that's who he was talking to.
      1. …in reply to @Chronotope
        Gollum lost the ring, but it was the only way to unlock his phone. Frodo's invisibility was a metaphor for identify theft.
        1. …in reply to @Chronotope
          That's why Gollum was wandering around saying his own name over and over, he was trying to voice activate the ring.
          1. …in reply to @Chronotope
            The Steward of Gondor just was having a problem communicating because he was getting DDoSed.
          2. …in reply to @Chronotope
            Orcs are what happens when you use too many caffeine bands at once.
            1. …in reply to @Chronotope
              They wanted to get to the Two Towers because where else are you going to get 3G?
              1. …in reply to @Chronotope
                With the One Ring destroyed, the internet was no longer being spammed by positioning data, allowing the elves to finally book their vacation
                1. …in reply to @Chronotope
                  Gandalf had to battle the Balrog, it was on his WiFi. After he kicked it off, he rebooted the router, making signal to from gray to white.


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