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Thread: Disney+ announcement or some shit I made up, or a little of both?...
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Hulu is making films with the hollow remnants of Fox's film division, including 20th Century which still has the wrong date but joins other Fox expatriates in having 'Fox' striped out.
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A mini series in which each episode worshipfully follows Tom Brady to the superbowl that will not mention any negatives and will reuse a ton of archival ESPN footage to maximize profit per minute played.
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Elizabeth Holmes and conning America are funny again as Kate McKinnon makes this deeply unlikable character fun again by reprising McKinnon's mad scientist character from Ghostbusters but named Elizabeth Holmes.
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A 24 hour live stream of Rosario Dawson as she goes between multiple sets, desperately trying to escape the Disney+ compound.
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More Handmaid's Tale, a show you literally forgot existed until this moment.
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A remix of all Finn footage from Star Wars into an all new plot: Finn - Disney Plused
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Jeff Bridges is a stoned old CIA operative forced to avoid acknowledging any real historical truths about the CIA while just trying to get his wife back.
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More American Horror Story, but with an S on the end to indicate each season is an anthology so they don't have to pay actors as much because the big stars are there for only one episode.
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It's The Office! But modern technology and humorless-I mean "bold".
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A comic book adaptation that you likely haven't heard of from... jeez over a decade ago now I think? But it's a world of all ladies only the protagonist is still a dude! This was very progressive in 2002.
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Alien: but it's a TV show so all the creepy suspense is gone and it's gonna be an action show.
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A white Australian dude's retelling of Japanese history told through the eyes of an English boat navigator, from a book originally published in 1975. It's many of our executives' favorite book to mention at dressy parties 40 readers ago.
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*years